Saving a Marriage - Where Do You Start?

When a marriage is in trouble, every little thing seems to turn into an argument. This leads to harsh words and hurt feelings. The chain of events continues to escalate until the couple sees no other option but to divorce. Saving a marriage may not be the easiest thing you will ever do, but it is definitely not as hard as going through a divorce.
When your marriage is troubled, the first thing to do is to take a close look at the situation. Where is the main marital strain coming from? It could be finances, communication (or lack of), time, work, etc.
Find the root of the problem. Then talk to your spouse about it. See if they feel the same way. You may be surprised that they think something totally different.
When you talk to each other, always be kind. It is easy to accuse or start yelling. But when you calmly talk about your problem, you will see that it is much easier to fix.
Wait until the two of you have unwound from your day. This could be after dinner, or on a weekend, or any other time that the two of you are most relaxed.
This may sound hard, but it really isn't. The hardest part is starting. After you get the first words out, you sill see that the words start to flow. Besides the usual 'how was your day?', you could ask your spouse what they thought of a particular movie or television show. You could ask them about something they like to do. Any of these will help to break the ice.
You and your spouse are friends. Best friends. Enough to swear to spend the rest of your lives together. Even best friends have issues, but they get resolved fast.
Can you remember back when you were a kid, and you and your best friend had a fight? You probably thought it was the end of the world - you would never talk to each other again. That is alot like what you are going through right now, isn't it?
When you remember how, even after the biggest arguments, you and your best friend always worked things out. Now that you are in adulthood, things really aren't that different. You and your best friend will work things out.
Always remember - saving a marriage isn't hard to do. Especially if you compare it to going through a divorce. You and your spouse love each other. That love will get you through this difficult time, and you will have a stronger relationship as a result.

By Sabrina Werles